hossvarad | 
07 20th, 2010| 
Hilarious School Answering Machine – Watch more Funny Videos
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KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI & DETROIT, MICHIGAN – It was decided today by a razor-thin 5-4 decision of the Kansas City, Missouri, school board that the district should immediately move toward implementing “school-less districts” in order to minimize costs and maximize teacher profits. Thus, the district agreed to close down over half of the existing schools in the district as an opening salvo, citing “poor attendance” and “high utility costs” as reasons.
Naturally, a lot of parents in the district were unhappy, claiming that their built-in day care system was threatened and that they might have to actually look at their kids once in a while if the district continued apace in its new efforts to “keep our kids from learnin’ good”. After all, the KCMO school district is famous for its Nobel Prize winners, astrophysicists, linguistics professors, and top-flight political analysts.
Not to be left out, Detroit, Michigan, countered with its own “cost cutting” measure, shutting down 45 schools in its district–a number even greater than Kansas City was willing to cut.
“We’re not going to be beaten by those losers in Kansas,” said Dr. Whatsit Jones of the Detroit School District. “We can shut down things faster than anyone else in the country. Just look at our state revenues: down. Look at our manufacturing base: all but gone. Why should our school be left behind? Don’t even try to beat us, Superintendent Covington! We’re Motown and we RULE!”
Other districts across the nation are pondering similar measures, believing that no schools at all will yield the highest possible income for NEA members without all the unnecessary strain of pretending to teach children.
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