hossvarad | 
03 22nd, 2009| 
WASHINGTON, DC – In a move that stunned his supporters and other members of the President’s cabinet today, Barack Hussein Obama appointed someone to a cabinet-level post who currently does not have an issue with the Internal Revenue Service (IRS). The move was heralded as a “bold tactic to show solidarity with the tax-paying public” by several media sources, including Reuters, the Associated Press, the BBC, and Al Jazeera, as well as half a dozen opt-in email lists.
The appointee, known only as “Secretary X” has stirred up a great deal of controversy among the President’s ardent core of true believers, but the administration moved quickly to put the record straight.
However, Press Secretary Gibbs moved quickly to allay any concerns that the President had lost his ability to judge the character of cabinet-level appointees. In a special press conference, Gibbs stated unequivocally that the appointment of a Secretary that was not a tax cheat was an “unfortunate oversight” and that “the President has renewed his efforts to plow ahead and appoint more high-level government officials that poo-poo and flaut the tax laws of the nation”. Gibbs concluded by assuring left-wing radicals around the country that Secretary X has broken numerous other laws not related to taxes and that there was no cause for alarm.
In a related speech, the President encouraged the young people of the nation to “Pay taxes if you must, but remember, if you do, you will not be considered for any cabinet post during my administration.”
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DUBLIN, IRELAND – As the Western world gears up to celebrate another in a long line of St. Patrick’s Days this month, the Prime Minister of Ireland has issued an empassioned plea to other nations. The request? “If you’re going to be a drunken slob this Saint Paddy’s Day, please don’t claim you’re Irish! If you insist on claiming to be Irish, please tone it down a bit, OK?”
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