WEST CHESTER, PENNSYLVANIA – Milton Hughes is, apparently, a psychological anomaly. Hughes was recommended for mental evaluation following a recent outburst at a local Denny’s, where he called a waitress “Honey”, forgot to say “Thank you” when his order arrived, and seemingly had the gall to ask for a second pot of coffee. Local authorities were called to scene and, after an evening in lock-up, Hughes was released on his own recognizance if he would submit to a battery of irrelevant ink blot tests.
Fearing he had no choice, Hughes consented. However, the tests, administered by Dr. Ruth Finkleman, a long-time psychologizer and evaluatician of other people’s saneness, found the Rorschach tests “inconclusive”. Dr. Finkleman, who is writing a children’s book about schizophrenia as it relates to popular cartoon characters, couldn’t believe the results at first. Later on, she recanted and said that “disbelief” might have been too harsh a word and she feared for the tests’ mental wellness in light of her insensitive remarks.
“This is so unusual, like, y’know?” said Dr. Finkleman, speaking to our JP! reporter on the scene. “Rorschach tests are the bomb! I, like, can’t believe they were inconclusive! Now, how am I supposed to know if, like, you know, Mr. Hughes is nuts or what? I mean, I think he’s bonkers, but now I can’t prove it!”
Mr. Hughes’ case was ridden, then dismissed.
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